She made an impression on everyone she met

My sister, Sohni, died on August 21, three and a half years after my mum Gwendolyn L. Philips nee Tissera and 44 years after my father Shanthikumar Tampoe Philips passed away. She would have been 60 years old on October 31.

Sohni was looking forward to her birthday party; she loved her birthdays and was a fabulous hostess. She would make sure that she had plenty of ‘short eats’ - meat patties, Chinese rolls, birthday cake and drinks, graciously offering each dish to her guests. We all left her parties feeling so good. She was very much a giver, never forgot our birthdays and we always got a gift. Sohni was generous, even if she could not afford to be. She was gifted, intelligent and so much fun when she was in the mood.

My sister was unique because she lived with schizophrenia, being diagnosed in her mid-teens. She was born with many natural talents not fully realised due to her illness. She played classical guitar and taught young children playing by ear.

Linda, a friend from schooldays, described her well: “Sohni had a great mind. I was always in awe of her intellect, creativity. She was incredibly wise, too. I remember the way Sohni walked and spoke with such gentleness. I knew she was vulnerable, but that’s what made her so warm and endearing.”

Sohni looked peaceful, beautiful in her coffin; the atmosphere of pure goodness was palpable. As I read Linda’s words it dawned on me what the other element was: happiness on her face.

Sohni made an impression on everyone she met. Those that were game enough to sit next to an unusually dressed, talking to herself, chain- smoker, walked away delighted to have met her. She could ooze charm and was an unforgettable character.

Anything esoteric she could handle, but gadgets and such things were a mystery to her.

1983 was her best year as a healthy adult living at home after a stint in college in upstate NY. In 1984, my father passed away at the tender age of 53. Sohni was very close to our papa, and they would talk about anything and everything. His death threw her back years. Our blessed mother, one of the kindest women you would ever meet, took on the grave responsibility of looking after Sohni, and they had a congenial life together in Colombo and Nuwara Eliya.

Sohni missed her mum. I miss them all. Thankfully I have two siblings left--long may they last.